tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post1853070039849307062..comments2023-10-05T03:21:41.343-06:00Comments on Invictus Pilgrim: Pre-Marriage AnguishInvictus Pilgrimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15961213460164925021noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post-61250976324298995412010-12-27T07:22:32.470-07:002010-12-27T07:22:32.470-07:00The experience you share seems similar to that of ...The experience you share seems similar to that of many Mormon homosexuals I've talked with or read about- especially on the Atonement changing your nature piece (reorientation). My response to that idea is in my book and on my blog (http://bradcarmack.blogspot.com/2010/09/agency-atonement-and-same-sex.html). <br /><br />Thanks for this post.mistahdoomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10565026922565152435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post-62882877171684539182010-12-04T09:24:35.586-07:002010-12-04T09:24:35.586-07:00Mister Curie - Thanks for your comments.
I find...Mister Curie - Thanks for your comments. <br /><br />I find myself now in much the same situation, i.e., of re-evaluating. I very much like your use of the phrases "live a life of integrity" and "live without regrets." These are tall orders - but, in the end, isn't that what life is really all about? And thus the quest for such lofty goals is what gives life its depth and meaning.Invictus Pilgrimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15961213460164925021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post-38852080259056751342010-12-04T08:48:53.208-07:002010-12-04T08:48:53.208-07:00This post really resonated with me and my experien...This post really resonated with me and my experiences. So many of my decisions in life have been made because of being raised in the church. I was a very strongly believing member and when I lost confidence in the church I have had to re-evaluate a lot of my life and I often have to tell myself "Look, you genuinely believed that the Church was true . . . You were trying to apply those teachings to your life and make decisions based upon them, desperately trying to do the 'right thing'." I am now trying to determine how to move forward and live a life of integrity with my current beliefs and to live without regrets. It's a long process that I'm still working through.Mister Curiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00113134172902610883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post-60359478883009912142010-12-04T04:12:44.828-07:002010-12-04T04:12:44.828-07:00Fascinating! I also prefer the kinder you and seco...Fascinating! I also prefer the kinder you and second the idea of taking him to lunch! Bon appetit!Libellulehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07633236721899345816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post-32711265304003244262010-12-04T04:11:58.539-07:002010-12-04T04:11:58.539-07:00Thank you, MoHoHawaii for your generous and insigh...Thank you, MoHoHawaii for your generous and insightful words! Not only have you understood what I was trying to convey, you have precisely identified the issue and added another layer of understanding has helped me to see the situation even more clearly. <br /><br />There is much more I could write, but I have so many thoughts and emotions running through me right now that I have to give them a little more time to mature and sort themselves out before I try to articulate them.<br /><br />Thanks again for your thoughts!Invictus Pilgrimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15961213460164925021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post-918806660209866632010-12-04T02:26:45.083-07:002010-12-04T02:26:45.083-07:00Wow! Wow! Wow! Your blog is becoming a must-read. ...Wow! Wow! Wow! Your blog is becoming a must-read. You've done a great job of describing this experience. <br /><br />It's good to hear that you have generous feelings toward the person you were. I like what Maya Angelou said (paraphrasing), <i>We did then what we knew how to do. When we knew better, we did better.</i> <br /><br />You were a good and decent man then, and you are a good and decent man now. You know a little more now than you did before. That's all that's changed.<br /><br />I think it's interesting that you find such relevance between the issues you faced in your twenties and the issues you face now some decades later. I think this is a deep truth. We think, when we are young, that entering a mixed-orientation marriage settles the matter of homosexuality while in fact it resolves nothing. The issues get buried but they don't go away. They <i>haunt</i> the marriage, and years later you can wake up and find that you more or less exactly where you were. <br /><br />I hope young people will read this blog post and understand its implications.<br /><br />[As an aside, I have a journal that I wrote during my post-mission college years that I have been avoiding opening for fear of what I might find.]MoHoHawaiihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15086670779804942122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post-6974803392401204322010-12-03T18:27:30.418-07:002010-12-03T18:27:30.418-07:00It makes complete sense. I've been "asle...It makes complete sense. I've been "asleep" for decades. But, once you wake up, it is really hard to ever go back to where you were. And the gut reaction is to either beat yourself up for 1) being asleep, or 2) for waking up, or 3) both. I'm just warning against such tendencies that I've fallen into after my "sleep". I'm having to accept that that was then and this is now and what am I going to do with what I know now... and that isn't that easy, especially with all the baggage that comes with the decades of life going on while one is "asleep".Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06159223254071653666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post-50442469155007891972010-12-03T17:59:45.122-07:002010-12-03T17:59:45.122-07:00Beck - I hear what you're saying. You know wh...Beck - I hear what you're saying. You know what, though? I find what I wrote then so interesting and relevant to me now. Sometimes I feel like Rip Van Winkle - like I've been asleep for all these years, and I'm now waking up. So what I wrote before I "went to sleep" is relevant to me now. Don't know if that makes any sense ...Invictus Pilgrimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15961213460164925021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post-2425013204298123082010-12-03T13:47:46.094-07:002010-12-03T13:47:46.094-07:00different time... different place...
You can'...different time... different place...<br /><br />You can't judge who you were then with who you are now.Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06159223254071653666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post-78281987854430061882010-12-03T09:08:37.905-07:002010-12-03T09:08:37.905-07:00Hey Joned - How's it going?
Apronkid - I'...Hey Joned - How's it going?<br /><br />Apronkid - I'm glad that you find reading about my experiences useful to some degree. Other than the therapeutic value I get from working through this stuff, my main reason in sharing it is the hope that something I write may be of use to someone else. Thanks for leaving your comments.Invictus Pilgrimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15961213460164925021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post-56591174098606009362010-12-03T07:28:38.162-07:002010-12-03T07:28:38.162-07:00That kinder, wiser part of you is right. S
Sortin...That kinder, wiser part of you is right. S<br /><br />Sorting through all this and giving us the privilege to do the same informs everyone and helps others. It helps me. The struggles with being a "sinner" and the feelings you had about marriage are meaningful to me, because I feel all mormon gays have to wade through both issues and go through a lot of dark places. For me, to have someone else's experience with these issues is very valuable.Elliothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12267445399650498944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6144399754818696603.post-21161563714922822722010-12-03T06:51:59.267-07:002010-12-03T06:51:59.267-07:00Dear Invictus,
It's nice to know you more fro...Dear Invictus,<br /><br />It's nice to know you more from ur post. I wish u good luck on ur journey.<br /><br />Joned ^_^Joned Rahadianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15120256589437482458noreply@blogger.com