Invictus Pilgrim

A Gay Man's Journey out of the Closet, Marriage and Mormonism toward Self-Love and Self-Discovery

Mixed-Orientation Marriage Posts


At the suggestion of a reader, I have prepared this page in order to list all the posts on this blog that deal with men who are currently in, have been or are contemplating a mixed-orientation marriage (i.e., man is gay, woman is straight, or woman is lesbian, husband is straight).



 "Real" Family vs. The "Family"


 Family Encore: Living With Reality and Finding Peace


 Family: Necessary But Not Sufficent


 Family: Hammering Away at our Souls


 To Young Men Only: The Gay Version


A Situation That Defies Our Nature


Mixed Orientation Marriages Revisited: Peace in Being Real


Mixed Orientation Marriages Revisited: To Just Accept Me


Dear Anonymous: The Matter of "Being Someone You're Not"


The Toll:  Inside a Mormon Mixed-Orientation Marriage


Voices: An Overwhelming Emptiness


Voices: Falling Away


An Overwhelming Emptiness:
Reprise and Reflections



Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
The Challenge


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
My Story, Part 1


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
My Story, Part 2


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
Patriarchy and Duplicity


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues: 
"Turn it Off"


To Young Men Only: 
The Gay Version (v. 1.1)



To The One:
 Suppression and Undeviating Determination



Beards, Masks and MetaFilter:
 New Perspectives



Masks: Landing Gay Side Up


Virtue in Pain


Kiss the Air


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“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

- Marcel Proust


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Pilgrim: One who journeys in foreign lands

One way leads to diamonds,
one way leads to gold,
Another leads you only
To everything you're told.

In your heart you wonder:
Which of these is true:
The road that leads to nowhere,
The road that leads to you ...

Pilgrim in your journey,
You may travel far;
For pilgrim, it's a long way
To find out who you are ...

~ Enya

Popular Posts

  • Selfish and Alone: Indulging My "Weakness"
    “I think it's so revealing of what type of person you are when here you are trying to speak as if your a spiritual guy and all througho...
  • "A Situation That Defies Our Nature"
    Following on yesterday’s post, I have had some private correspondence in the last couple of weeks with a couple of gay men who are each ...
  • Circling the Wagons: Grace and the Courage to Be
    “Sometimes it happens that we receive the power to yes to ourselves, that peace enters into us and makes us whole, that self-hate and sel...
  • Circling the Wagons: Same Gender Loving vs. Same-Sex Attracted
    Many in our society have long realized the power that attaches to terminology and to labels, especially when applied to groups of people.  ...
  • Obstacles to Change in the Church: Inspired and Enforced Ignorance
    A couple of days ago, I wrote about how various speakers at the recent Circling the Wagons Conference in Salt Lake City encouraged LGBT mem...
  • Grateful for Years in the Closet?
    I have forced myself to write this post as a companion piece to the one I posted the day before Thanksgiving:   Grateful to be Gay? . I’m...
  • Thanksgiving Reflections: Is Being Gay “Worth It”?
    At this Thanksgiving time, I'd like to revisit some thoughts written in response to a comment I received last spring with respect to on...
  • Stopping Spiritual Bullying: What the Church Can Do Immediately
    One of the most interesting questions posed during last Saturday afternoon’s panel discussion at the Circling the Wagons Conference on the ...
  • Obstacles to Change in the Church: Democracy vs. Theocracy
    One of the big themes that emerged during the Circling the Wagons Conference 10 days ago, as initially expressed by Carol Lynn Pearson in t...
  • Painting Pictures of Egypt
    I’ve been feeling a bit disoriented these past few days.  The feeling started, I think, after I discovered the apparent extent of gossip i...

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