Invictus Pilgrim

A Gay Man's Journey out of the Closet, Marriage and Mormonism toward Self-Love and Self-Discovery

Mixed-Orientation Marriage Posts


At the suggestion of a reader, I have prepared this page in order to list all the posts on this blog that deal with men who are currently in, have been or are contemplating a mixed-orientation marriage (i.e., man is gay, woman is straight, or woman is lesbian, husband is straight).



 "Real" Family vs. The "Family"


 Family Encore: Living With Reality and Finding Peace


 Family: Necessary But Not Sufficent


 Family: Hammering Away at our Souls


 To Young Men Only: The Gay Version


A Situation That Defies Our Nature


Mixed Orientation Marriages Revisited: Peace in Being Real


Mixed Orientation Marriages Revisited: To Just Accept Me


Dear Anonymous: The Matter of "Being Someone You're Not"


The Toll:  Inside a Mormon Mixed-Orientation Marriage


Voices: An Overwhelming Emptiness


Voices: Falling Away


An Overwhelming Emptiness:
Reprise and Reflections



Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
The Challenge


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
My Story, Part 1


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
My Story, Part 2


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
Patriarchy and Duplicity


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues: 
"Turn it Off"


To Young Men Only: 
The Gay Version (v. 1.1)



To The One:
 Suppression and Undeviating Determination



Beards, Masks and MetaFilter:
 New Perspectives



Masks: Landing Gay Side Up


Virtue in Pain


Kiss the Air


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“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

- Marcel Proust


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  • Boyd K. Packer on Homosexuality
  • Disclaimer

Pilgrim: One who journeys in foreign lands

One way leads to diamonds,
one way leads to gold,
Another leads you only
To everything you're told.

In your heart you wonder:
Which of these is true:
The road that leads to nowhere,
The road that leads to you ...

Pilgrim in your journey,
You may travel far;
For pilgrim, it's a long way
To find out who you are ...

~ Enya

Popular Posts

  • What About Gay Sex?
    Since starting my blog, I have occasionally received an e-mail or message that concerns gay sex.  Not that anyone was hitting on me.  And i...
  • A Stake President’s Perspective on Homosexuality
    Dear brothers and sisters, I follow a blog entitled LDS (Mormon) Stake President’s LDS (Mormon) Stake President's Blog , written by Pr...
  • Existential Exercise: 10 Favorite Movies
    A while ago, I wrote here  about how I had experienced an “existential moment” when someone asked me to list my ten favorite movies.   I co...
  • Mormon Beards – Exploring the Issues: The Challenge
    “So I found out a friend from my freshman ward is doing the "I'm in the closet and I mess around with guys but I'm not gay and...
  • Gay Gospel Doctrine Class: A More Excellent Way
    When Invictus asked me to prepare the Gay Gospel Doctrine lesson for this week, I was excited.*  I used to teach Gospel Doctrine for about...
  • Glee-ful: Affirmation and Pursuit
      Okay, so as I wrote  here  and  here , I’ve realized that when I got married, I abandoned most of my own interests and tastes in favor...
  • Pilgrim’s Chorus: MoTab Men vs. San Fran Gays
    I recently joined the Salt Lake Men’s Choir, and one of the songs we have started rehearsing is Pilgrim’s Chorus from the opera Tannhäuser...
  • Meeting with the Bishop: What Just Happened?
    There must have been some reason why, almost 18 years ago, I went in to see our bishop, while in graduate school and serving as ward exe...
  • Grateful to be Gay?
    I have been thinking about the subject of this post for some time, and Thanksgiving seemed an appropriate time to commit my (current sta...
  • Voices: Wrestling with Angels
    My name is Martin.* Some of you might even know of me. Only because being a college professor can be a high profile position. I certainly ...

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