Invictus Pilgrim

A Gay Man's Journey out of the Closet, Marriage and Mormonism toward Self-Love and Self-Discovery

Mixed-Orientation Marriage Posts


At the suggestion of a reader, I have prepared this page in order to list all the posts on this blog that deal with men who are currently in, have been or are contemplating a mixed-orientation marriage (i.e., man is gay, woman is straight, or woman is lesbian, husband is straight).



 "Real" Family vs. The "Family"


 Family Encore: Living With Reality and Finding Peace


 Family: Necessary But Not Sufficent


 Family: Hammering Away at our Souls


 To Young Men Only: The Gay Version


A Situation That Defies Our Nature


Mixed Orientation Marriages Revisited: Peace in Being Real


Mixed Orientation Marriages Revisited: To Just Accept Me


Dear Anonymous: The Matter of "Being Someone You're Not"


The Toll:  Inside a Mormon Mixed-Orientation Marriage


Voices: An Overwhelming Emptiness


Voices: Falling Away


An Overwhelming Emptiness:
Reprise and Reflections



Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
The Challenge


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
My Story, Part 1


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
My Story, Part 2


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
Patriarchy and Duplicity


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues: 
"Turn it Off"


To Young Men Only: 
The Gay Version (v. 1.1)



To The One:
 Suppression and Undeviating Determination



Beards, Masks and MetaFilter:
 New Perspectives



Masks: Landing Gay Side Up


Virtue in Pain


Kiss the Air


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“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

- Marcel Proust


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Pilgrim: One who journeys in foreign lands

One way leads to diamonds,
one way leads to gold,
Another leads you only
To everything you're told.

In your heart you wonder:
Which of these is true:
The road that leads to nowhere,
The road that leads to you ...

Pilgrim in your journey,
You may travel far;
For pilgrim, it's a long way
To find out who you are ...

~ Enya

Popular Posts

  • The Distant Father / Overbearing Mother Syndrome
    I’m sure you have all heard it, and many of you likely believe it.  It sounds plausible and satisfies the conscious or unconscious assumpti...
  • No Longer Worthy Enough: One Father’s Voice
    This past Sunday, I went to church just like I have for almost every Sunday for the past 20+ years since becoming a member.   I went to ...
  • The Mormon Wall: Lunch with Brother John
    I felt disheartened as I walked away from the restaurant.  I had just had lunch with a former priesthood leader (whom I call “John”) who ha...
  • Families are Forever ... If Only You Weren't Gay
    It hasn’t escaped the notice of more than a few persons that Mormonism can be a wonderful thing … if you happen to be straight, are politic...
  • "A Situation That Defies Our Nature"
    Following on yesterday’s post, I have had some private correspondence in the last couple of weeks with a couple of gay men who are each ...
  • Icarus: Did I Fly Too High?
    T hese past two weeks since I started this blog have been a roller coaster, taking me to dizzying heights, then plunging me into deep d...
  • Coming Out to My Son
    I came out to my 20-year-old son on Saturday.   Another Rubicon crossed.   I had been waiting for him to return home after being out of th...
  • New Identity - Gay and ?: Recovering My Self
    How does one go about recovering a sense of identity that was (i) hidden as a child because of child abuse, (ii) repressed further as an...
  • To Young Men Only - The Gay Version
    A very interesting discussion about mixed-orientation marriages (MOMs) evolved in a series of posts on this blog two weeks ago.   (See h...
  • Gay Identity Crisis (#___)
    The holidays are now behind us.   One can almost hear a huge collective sigh of relief echo throughout the land.   It’s funny how we look ...

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