Invictus Pilgrim

A Gay Man's Journey out of the Closet, Marriage and Mormonism toward Self-Love and Self-Discovery

Mixed-Orientation Marriage Posts


At the suggestion of a reader, I have prepared this page in order to list all the posts on this blog that deal with men who are currently in, have been or are contemplating a mixed-orientation marriage (i.e., man is gay, woman is straight, or woman is lesbian, husband is straight).



 "Real" Family vs. The "Family"


 Family Encore: Living With Reality and Finding Peace


 Family: Necessary But Not Sufficent


 Family: Hammering Away at our Souls


 To Young Men Only: The Gay Version


A Situation That Defies Our Nature


Mixed Orientation Marriages Revisited: Peace in Being Real


Mixed Orientation Marriages Revisited: To Just Accept Me


Dear Anonymous: The Matter of "Being Someone You're Not"


The Toll:  Inside a Mormon Mixed-Orientation Marriage


Voices: An Overwhelming Emptiness


Voices: Falling Away


An Overwhelming Emptiness:
Reprise and Reflections



Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
The Challenge


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
My Story, Part 1


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
My Story, Part 2


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
Patriarchy and Duplicity


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues: 
"Turn it Off"


To Young Men Only: 
The Gay Version (v. 1.1)



To The One:
 Suppression and Undeviating Determination



Beards, Masks and MetaFilter:
 New Perspectives



Masks: Landing Gay Side Up


Virtue in Pain


Kiss the Air


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“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

- Marcel Proust


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  • Disclaimer

Pilgrim: One who journeys in foreign lands

One way leads to diamonds,
one way leads to gold,
Another leads you only
To everything you're told.

In your heart you wonder:
Which of these is true:
The road that leads to nowhere,
The road that leads to you ...

Pilgrim in your journey,
You may travel far;
For pilgrim, it's a long way
To find out who you are ...

~ Enya

Popular Posts

  • Mormon Beards – Exploring the Issues: The Challenge
    “So I found out a friend from my freshman ward is doing the "I'm in the closet and I mess around with guys but I'm not gay and...
  • The Mormon Wall: Lunch with Brother John
    I felt disheartened as I walked away from the restaurant.  I had just had lunch with a former priesthood leader (whom I call “John”) who ha...
  • Moving Out and Moving On
    I have wrestled with whether or not I should post today, or at all. The past 24 hours have been extremely difficult and painful. I start...
  • Existential Exercise: 10 Favorite Movies
    A while ago, I wrote here  about how I had experienced an “existential moment” when someone asked me to list my ten favorite movies.   I co...
  • Introducing: Gay Gospel Doctrine Class
    Welcome, class.  This is a first attempt at an online gay Gospel Doctrine class, one that can be attended in one’s pajamas or, um, boxer...
  • New Identity - Gay and ?: Recovering My Self
    How does one go about recovering a sense of identity that was (i) hidden as a child because of child abuse, (ii) repressed further as an...
  • Selfish and Alone: Indulging My "Weakness"
    “I think it's so revealing of what type of person you are when here you are trying to speak as if your a spiritual guy and all througho...
  • Masks – Exploring the Issues: Celestial Glory Shall Be Mine
    “Celestial glory shall be mine if I can but endure.” One of the very first songs a Mormon child learns to sing is “I Am a Child of God,” a...
  • Journal – Day 7: Coming out to My Self
    The Pilgrim is now on Facebook Ned nudged me in to the Facebook world yesterday.   (Thanks, Ned.)   Wow!   I feel like I’ve entered...
  • My inaugural post: I had a dream
    Okay, here goes … I am taking a huge step.   This is my first post anywhere about my SGA.   But when I read this post  on Beck's blog , ...

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