Invictus Pilgrim

A Gay Man's Journey out of the Closet, Marriage and Mormonism toward Self-Love and Self-Discovery

Mixed-Orientation Marriage Posts


At the suggestion of a reader, I have prepared this page in order to list all the posts on this blog that deal with men who are currently in, have been or are contemplating a mixed-orientation marriage (i.e., man is gay, woman is straight, or woman is lesbian, husband is straight).



 "Real" Family vs. The "Family"


 Family Encore: Living With Reality and Finding Peace


 Family: Necessary But Not Sufficent


 Family: Hammering Away at our Souls


 To Young Men Only: The Gay Version


A Situation That Defies Our Nature


Mixed Orientation Marriages Revisited: Peace in Being Real


Mixed Orientation Marriages Revisited: To Just Accept Me


Dear Anonymous: The Matter of "Being Someone You're Not"


The Toll:  Inside a Mormon Mixed-Orientation Marriage


Voices: An Overwhelming Emptiness


Voices: Falling Away


An Overwhelming Emptiness:
Reprise and Reflections



Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
The Challenge


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
My Story, Part 1


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
My Story, Part 2


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
Patriarchy and Duplicity


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues: 
"Turn it Off"


To Young Men Only: 
The Gay Version (v. 1.1)



To The One:
 Suppression and Undeviating Determination



Beards, Masks and MetaFilter:
 New Perspectives



Masks: Landing Gay Side Up


Virtue in Pain


Kiss the Air


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“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

- Marcel Proust


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Pilgrim: One who journeys in foreign lands

One way leads to diamonds,
one way leads to gold,
Another leads you only
To everything you're told.

In your heart you wonder:
Which of these is true:
The road that leads to nowhere,
The road that leads to you ...

Pilgrim in your journey,
You may travel far;
For pilgrim, it's a long way
To find out who you are ...

~ Enya

Popular Posts

  • Forged: Et tu, Paulus?
    “[Paul] is about 5 foot high; very dark hair; dark complexion, dark skin; large Roman nose; sharp face; small black eyes, penetrating as et...
  • Pre-Marriage Anguish
    I used to write occasionally in my journal about my struggle with homosexuality.   Primarily, this was during my mission and during the firs...
  • Simply Saturday
    “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” — Mahatma Gandhi “ Expose y...
  • Gay Gospel Doctrine Class: Greater Love Hath No Man
    This is another in a series of posts that take a lesson from the LDS Church’s (Adult) Gospel Doctrine class and present it from a gay persp...
  • It's Not the Same
    Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring – except me.   I am downstairs in my room, writin...
  • To Young Men Only - One Gay Mormon's Response
    The words “to young men only” probably mean any number of different things to different people.  This assumes we are dealing with a diverse...
  • Pilgrim’s Chorus: MoTab Men vs. San Fran Gays
    I recently joined the Salt Lake Men’s Choir, and one of the songs we have started rehearsing is Pilgrim’s Chorus from the opera Tannhäuser...
  • My Gay Identity: Betrayal and Abandonment of Self – Part 2
    In turning away from my true sexual identity, I think – subconsciously – that my gay self felt that it had been betrayed.   It had emerg...
  • Darkest Just Before Dawn
    My salt-of-the-earth grandmother used to say that it’s always darkest just before dawn. Yesterday morning, I was feeling like I was...
  • IP Book Club: Forged – Introduction (2)
    Last week, I announced the formation of the Invictus Pilgrim Book Club.  The purpose of the “club” is to promote online discussion of books...

Blog Archive

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      • Forged: Et tu, Paulus?
      • Simply Saturday
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