Invictus Pilgrim

A Gay Man's Journey out of the Closet, Marriage and Mormonism toward Self-Love and Self-Discovery

Mixed-Orientation Marriage Posts


At the suggestion of a reader, I have prepared this page in order to list all the posts on this blog that deal with men who are currently in, have been or are contemplating a mixed-orientation marriage (i.e., man is gay, woman is straight, or woman is lesbian, husband is straight).



 "Real" Family vs. The "Family"


 Family Encore: Living With Reality and Finding Peace


 Family: Necessary But Not Sufficent


 Family: Hammering Away at our Souls


 To Young Men Only: The Gay Version


A Situation That Defies Our Nature


Mixed Orientation Marriages Revisited: Peace in Being Real


Mixed Orientation Marriages Revisited: To Just Accept Me


Dear Anonymous: The Matter of "Being Someone You're Not"


The Toll:  Inside a Mormon Mixed-Orientation Marriage


Voices: An Overwhelming Emptiness


Voices: Falling Away


An Overwhelming Emptiness:
Reprise and Reflections



Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
The Challenge


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
My Story, Part 1


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
My Story, Part 2


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues:
Patriarchy and Duplicity


Mormon Beards - Exploring the Issues: 
"Turn it Off"


To Young Men Only: 
The Gay Version (v. 1.1)



To The One:
 Suppression and Undeviating Determination



Beards, Masks and MetaFilter:
 New Perspectives



Masks: Landing Gay Side Up


Virtue in Pain


Kiss the Air


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“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

- Marcel Proust


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  • Disclaimer

Pilgrim: One who journeys in foreign lands

One way leads to diamonds,
one way leads to gold,
Another leads you only
To everything you're told.

In your heart you wonder:
Which of these is true:
The road that leads to nowhere,
The road that leads to you ...

Pilgrim in your journey,
You may travel far;
For pilgrim, it's a long way
To find out who you are ...

~ Enya

Popular Posts

  • “Real” Family vs. The “Family"
    Today’s post is a reflection on some of the comments that were left on yesterday’s post, entitled “The Family.” There were several comment...
  • Stopping Spiritual Bullying: What the Church Can Do Immediately
    One of the most interesting questions posed during last Saturday afternoon’s panel discussion at the Circling the Wagons Conference on the ...
  • Dear Anonymous: The “Gay Lifestyle” and “Sex”
    This is my fourth letter to Anonymous, who posted the following comment a few days ago with respect to a post on my blog (the gist of th...
  • Thy Faith Hath Saved Thee: Healing to a Blighted Heart
    This is another in a series of posts that take a lesson from the LDS Church’s (Adult) Gospel Doctrine class and present it from a gay persp...
  • Where It Listeth: Reflections on the Mormon Stories Salt Lake Conference
    “Wouldn’t it be great if we could attend a ward like this?” This was the question I posed on Saturday afternoon to my friend who was atten...
  • Wes Hempel: Artist, Writer, Gay Man, Observer of Mormonism
    A couple of months ago, while working on a post, I ran across the amazing art of Wes Hempel, an artist and writer who lives in rural Colora...
  • A Stake President’s Perspective on Homosexuality
    Dear brothers and sisters, I follow a blog entitled LDS (Mormon) Stake President’s LDS (Mormon) Stake President's Blog , written by Pr...
  • Thankful to be Gay? – Reprise
    The day before Thanksgiving, I posted this post which posed a number of questions around the concept of being grateful to be gay.   I i...
  • The Toll: Inside a Mormon Mixed-Orientation Marriage
    “Losing you [when you joined the church] was like a guillotine blade that beheaded the loving richness I had in my life.  [After you jo...
  • Without Compulsory Means
    I have written a lot, over the past few months, about discovery and recovering identity.   I have reflected upon and analyzed what happe...

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