I Was Blind, Now I See

This is another in a series called “Gay Gospel Doctrine Class,” which takes a lesson from the LDS Church’s (Adult) Gospel Doctrine class and presents it from a gay perspective.  Today’s lesson is based on Lesson #16 from the Gospel Doctrine Manual and was prepared by UtahHiker801. 

In John chapter 9, Jesus comes upon a man who was blind since birth.  The disciples ask Jesus, “Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?  Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents; but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.”  He heals his blindness, and when the formerly blind man is brought to the Pharisees, they interrogate him as to how he was healed.

The man answers them several times, yet the Pharisees refuse to believe him.  The blind man’s parents are brought in and questioned.  They were wise enough to see through the trickery and referred all questions back to their son who was “of age”.

Despite all of the testimony given, the Pharisees refuse to accept that Jesus performed this miracle with the false indignation that this was done on the Sabbath.

How many times have many of us heard questions and arguments about why any particular one of us may be gay?  I’ve heard or read: it was the result of an absent father; or, it was because his mother was overbearing and controlling; or, it was because he was never comfortable around other boys and isolated himself.

All of these questions have the pretext of, “Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he is gay?”

For years I wished and prayed that I too could be healed from this “condition”, to be made “right” again in the presence of God.  The amount of soul searching I did was, I think, rather impressive.

Happily, I have come to the realization that being gay is not some infirmity which needs to be cured or suffered through.  The cure that I experienced was coming to a deeper understanding of who I am; that God doesn’t love me in spite of being gay, but that his love encompasses the totality of who I am including my sexual orientation.

Regrettably, just as the Pharisees responded with derision to the healed blind man, I find that some people refuse to accept or even listen to the reality of my life because it doesn’t fit into their preconceptions.  I’ll be honest here; most people don’t know about this part of who I am, but I have listened to countless “sermons” by those who lack an understanding of anything different from themselves.  They feign to know the mind of God and express self-righteousness indignation at the perceived affront to the “broken Sabbath.”

With great relief, I can report that their opinions mean less to me as I move forward.  I’m still working on letting go of occasional anger of being devalued, because I know that long-term happiness is based on finding and seeing goodness.  And that is my hope for all of us.